I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize