Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
