If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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