It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
