nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
