Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
