You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
