Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
