I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
