I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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