I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
