It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
