I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
