is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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