u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
