Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
