did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
