SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
