Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
