Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
