yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
