Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
