We named our party play list daddy issues
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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