Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
