Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
