Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
