in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
