Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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