Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
