I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
