He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
