Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
