just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
