id be glad to
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
