Me too!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
