i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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