This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
