Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she told me i tasted like america
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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