Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
