Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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