where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
