I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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