Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
All the doctor said was why
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
