we have officially lost it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
