this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
