I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
