You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
