Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm always down for nudity.
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