Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
