Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
