I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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