Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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