Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize