that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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